The Maynard Gang

It has come to me by reliable sources that there is much concern about my health. Housebound and receiving unrelenting doses of national news, I realize that nearly all sources on any subject are under suspicion. Fervently believing that my Maynard sources are much ahead of national norms, I am taking them seriously.

A senior member of both the Pitch Parlor and the Redneck Institute for Advanced Studies reports withdrawal symptoms on the part of some of the weaker brethren from a month’s deprivation of raisin pie. Others exhibit similar symptoms from the absence of apple and cherry pies.


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The Star Herald


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