I was on the phone talking to a client about hiring a woman to stay with their mom at night for a couple of weeks. She had just had surgery. Mike was listening to this and said “So, when you get older you can pay a woman to stay the night with you and no one says anything?” Look at my husband, always thinking... ****** MIKE: You see that bald eagle? ME: I see a flying black spot. ****** The other night Turner aka Demon Cat, was in my spot in bed. I picked him up to move him. I probably hadn’t picked him up in a couple months and was surprised at how much he weighs. Last night he was rolling around on the floor in front of us. I was telling Mike how I was shocked at how heavy he is but while saying so, I actually caught myself whispering it. I’m guessing so the cat wouldn’t hear? I really need to get out more. ****** At about 4am, a noise woke me up. It was the sound of someone walking across my porch. I was calm and said Mike’s name twice in “that tone” to wake him up. I told him someone was on the front porch. He calmly got up, looked out the window then headed to the living room. I heard him open the front door, walk across the porch, close the front door, walk to the kitchen, open the fridge, gulp, open the mud room door, fill the cat food bowl, close the mud room door, walk to the bathroom, close the door, some other stuff and flush. He then returned to bed, covered up and was snoring again within 3 minutes. I guess no one was out there? ****** Just so you know... If you butt dial me, I will listen. And in some cases, record. ****** Yesterday on the way to work I heard a radio announcer say “If I haven’t offended you yet, turn down the volume, because I’m about to.” Sometimes I feel starting the day with a disclaimer like that might be the route to go. ****** January 6th is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, but oh contraire. Today is the day I open the box of fancy cookies I wrap up and have under the tree in case someon